It’s that time of the year again when school bells are ringing all across the nation. Gone are the fun-filled days of summer; time for packing lunches, getting back to a new schedule, and yes, daily homework.
As the school year begins, it saddens me to think that some of our children are returning to school this fall having experienced a loss in their lives since school ended for the summer. I am reminded of two young girls — ages 9 and 12 — who lost their mom, and three other girls — ages, 3, 12, and 14 — who lost their dad over the summer break.
Still other children are entering a new school-year having had to face the divorce of their parents. Others are entering the school year due to a move to a new location, which can also be a terrifying experience for a child.
Loss, a separation from someone or something of value to you, occurs in many different shapes and forms, and carries with it hurt and pain. For example:
- being bullied at school or in the neighborhood
- not making the football team for the coming year
- a friend saying: “I don’t want to play with you anymore.”
- being sick or the illness of a loved one
- having a family member in jail
- having a family member addicted to drugs or alcohol
- experiencing natural disasters
- witnessing school violence
Oh, how I wish that you and I could protect our children from losses and the pain and hurt that accompanies it. But, unfortunately we can’t because —
losses are a normal part of life, even in the lives of children.
While we can’t always protect them from a loss, we can help them GRIEVE the loss they have experienced according to Matthew 5:4, and help them find ways of coping with it. So, join with me as I began a blogging adventure stemming from my book, Helping Hurting Children: A Journey of Healing written especially for this purpose.
Illustrations by Hannah
And now, may I introduce to you my 9 year-old-granddaughter, Hannah. Hannah drew the illustration for my first blog, and will be a contributing illustrator on this blogging adventure with me.
Join Hannah and me right here next Tuesday. In the meantime, in the comment section, please take the time to answer the following questions.
- Has a child in your life experienced a loss?
- Did you sense a great desire to help the child in his pain, but yet did not know how to get started?
If so, let’s you and I work together as caring adults to become the catalyst in helping that precious child in your life grow into adulthood free of hurts from his childhood.
Way to go mom & Hannah! This very much needed and I know many children’s lives will be changed!
That is our prayer that children’s lives will be changed. I am so glad Hannah is a part of this.
Martha, what a wonderful thing u are doing. I don’t have a child in my life now, but when I was teaching , I remember greeting the children at the door in the mornings and from the look of many of the faces I would wonder what on earth they had gone through before they even got to school. It is so sad to greet unhappy children, when childhood should be carefree and children shouldn’t have to be worried or afraid. Thank you for all the “good ” you do. The world is a better place because of people like you.
Suellen, I have been out of town and couldn’t reply. Thanks for your comments. As a former teacher myself, I saw the same things you did on little faces every morning. It is my prayer that a community of people who meets with Hannah and me on this blog, as well as my book, can help guide parents, grandparents, and any caring adult some tools to help children who are experiencing losses in their lives.
My daughters lost their papi at the end of June in a work related accident. They each are dealing with a range of emotions in their own ways as have I. I know that everyone deals with grief and heartache in their own way but until you have one that shows no emotion and won’t let you in, another that is happy and laughing one minute and then crying out in pain the next, and another that isn’t even able to fully comprehend that papi won’t ever come back and she probably will have forgotten him within the next couple of months is overwhelming. My girls are 13, 10, and almost 3 in Sept. Oh, and we are expecting, I was about a month along when my husband passed away and I had told him a couple of days before he died that I probably was pregnant. We love our girls very much but have prayed for a long time for a boy to complete our family. He was so happy at the thought of bringing another us into the world. Guess we’ll know in about 8 more weeks… It has been especially hard for me during this time because I see my girls storm off, put their noses in books or electronics, and drown the world out with music and friends. The little one of course is glued to me and sometimes seems that she’s the only person in the house that talks to me these days. I want them close but it feels like we are lost and have no direction. I feel a lot of the time that I don’t have the words to offer them and so we just kind-a shut down. I could see this happening before my eyes and have been in prayer the past couple of weeks over it. This past Saturday things finally came to a head and we all broke. The older girls were able to help me see some things that I was and was not doing for them and I was able to get some things out about how I have been feeling. As much as it hurt for each of us to have to say the things we said, we needed it. Yesterday was my birthday and for the first time since his passing I felt a sense of peace. God granted peace. We are on this journey together and I am bound and determinded not to allow the enemy brake my family any more than it already is. It is time that we get started on healing our broken hearts but just like anything else, the first day is always the hardest.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
Eva, my heart goes out to you and the girls in the loss of your husband and their papi. What a range of emotions, for sure, you all must be experiencing. The good thing is – -as hard as it might have been, the wall came down on Saturday and all of you talked out your feelings. I encourage you to continue to do that. Bottled up emotions will explode and most often create a big mess. So, I am so thankful for this talk that you had. Know that my prayers are with you and the girls. Love you.