Today, I continue my series answering questions children may have on specific losses. My purpose in writing about this is two-fold: (1) to bring awareness to the questions a child might ask so you will not be surprised (2) to dispel misguided answers adults sometime make in answering questions about a child’s loss.
Included in this series will be questions on death, divorce, making a move, and the loss of a pet. Also included in this series will be tips for adults concerning bullying and self-esteem, which, unfortunately, kids may face on a daily basis. As you read my answers, consider using them as a guide with the child with whom you are comforting. It will also be a time to interject scriptures to enhance the child’s spiritual growth. Be sure to click onto the link provided should you miss any posts during this series.
Today, I will be listing questions children ask about the Loss of a Pet. Before you begin, let’s quickly review some important points to remember when answering a child’s questions about any loss.
- It is best to always be honest rather than “sugar-coating” the answers in an effort to shield and protect him. The more clearly you answer his questions, the faster he will move forward in coping with his loss.
- If you do not know the answer to a question he asks, it is okay to say, “I don’t know.” Giving him an answer you are not sure of will only add to his confusion.
- Answer questions briefly; children aren’t looking for a long drawn out lecture.
- Should you feel the need to ask the child a question, it is very important how you phrase the question. Children often respond the way they think adults want them to respond; therefore asking questions that require a “Yes” or “No” answer should be avoided.
So, let’s get started with common questions about the Loss of a Pet.
1. My mom said my pet ran away. How long will it be before he comes back?
Some animals do, indeed, run away. However, do not use that as a reason for the death of an animal. “He ran away,” makes the child think his pet will be coming home.
2. My dad said he would buy me another pet, but I don’t want a replacement.
In an effort to soften the hurt of losing a pet, parents sometimes offer to quickly to replace the pet. For some families, adopting a new pet quickly is the right thing to do, but for others, they may recognize that the child needs time to grieve over the loss of his pet. If that is the case, in the meantime, but sure to stress to the child that he has a lot of love to give another animal that needs a home.
3. Did my pet go to heaven?
That is a question that I have heard many adults ask during their time of grieving the loss of their pet. To my knowledge, the Bible doesn’t give any clear answer on the subject.
For me personally, I found a scripture that satisfies the answer for me. Psalm 36:5-6 says: “Your steadfast love, O Lord, is as great as all the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Your justice is as solid as God’s mountains. Your decisions are full of wisdom as the oceans are with water. You are concerned for men and animals alike.” (TLB)
For children, why not tell him the familiar Bible story of Noah and the Ark as found in Genesis 6-8. After telling the child the story, have him think on these thoughts:
If God took care of all those animals during the flood,
trust Him to take care of your pet also, even after his death.
(Genesis 6-8)
Join Hannah and me right here next week as we talk to you, the adult, about a subject we all should be informed about and that is Bullying.