It’s that time of the year again when school bells are ringing all across the nation.  Gone are the fun-filled days of summer; time for packing lunches, getting back to a new schedule, and yes, daily homework

Would you please allow a proud Nana to post a picture of two of her grandchildren’s first day of school?

I was told by their mother that they were both very excited.  Being very out-going and independent kids, there were no fears of embracing the first day.  Zach, however, did have one big concern going into first grade:  “I hope my hair doesn’t get messed up on the way to school this morning.”  Oh, yes, I have seen the kid stand before the mirror and make sure every hair is in place.  My little man, as I call him, is a real charmer at 6 years of age.

For those of you who have been following my posts this past year, you know that Hannah is my illustrator.  She also likes to write, so this week I ask her to write and give me her thoughts about the beginning of another school year. The following is what she wrote, retyped it straight from her pen.

Going to school isn’t my favorite thing, but it is okay.

There are a lot of new kids at my school.  I like meeting new friends and all, but it’s hard to be friends with them if your other friends don’t like them or make fun of them.  You know, stuff  like that.  Sometimes, it’s easy to just turn away, but we should help them out anyway.

I hope you have a good school year!

Well, as you can see, Hannah’s thoughts were on the new kid at school this year.  

Hannah pointed out a very realistic situation for kids: “it’s hard to be friends with them if your other friends don’t like them or make fun of them.  Sometimes it is easy to just turn away.”

Thankfully, Hannah, did see the need to help the new kid in school but, like most kids, just doesn’t know how.

How well I remember the time our family relocated to another city because of a job transfer. My daughter, Heather, was going into the sixth grade.  We drove up to the school the first day, and she refused to get out of the car.  My offer to walk her into the building was met emphatically with:  “No!  The kids will think I am a baby having my mother walk into the building with me.”  Yet, she refused to get out of the car.  Finally, she consented for me to go into the building and find her classroom.  I came back to the car and gave her the directions to her room, and that gave her enough confidence to begin her first day. Thankfully, a beautiful little girl name Randi, befriended her on that first day, and thirty years later, they are still friends.

As parents, most of us try to prepare our children for new beginnings.  A new school, new teachers and new friends can be a scary thing for a child.  For some, it is made even harder because they might have had to make a move to a new place due to a parent’s death or divorce.  For the most part, I believe parents try to help their child make the necessary changes.

However, I dare say that the words and actions coming from one of their own peers speaks the loudest.

So, today, I offer a few suggestions to discuss with your children of how he/she might befriend the new kid at school.

1. Look for new faces in your class. If you are not sitting near them, give them a warm smile.
2. When you get a chance to talk, introduce yourself and say something like: “So, you’re new? Where are you from?”
3. Introduce them to your friends.
4. Ask them to sit with you at lunch.
5. At lunch, ask them questions like: “What is your favorite hobby, movie, book, school subject, animal?” This allows the new kid to talk about themselves, which most of us like to do. It also gives you an opportunity to get to know them.
6. Don’t make them answer too many questions, especially if they seem shy. Tell them about yourself also.
7. Offer to show them around school.
8. Help them find their locker; show them how to lock and unlock it.
9. Talk to the child about the clubs and sports that are available at their new school. Ask what clubs they are interested in and what clubs they were in at their old school.
10. If the new kid rides a bus home from school, try finding him a “bus buddy” he can sit with.
11. Above all, make sure you speak up for the new kid if someone is saying rude remarks or making fun of them. Better still, talk to your teacher; bullying and unkind remarks should never be tolerated.

Thanks to Hannah for writing about such an important subject.  If you or your child has other suggestions as to how to befriend new kids at school, please leave them in the comment section.

In case you are wondering, on Zach’s first day as a first grader, he made it to his desk without a hair out of place.

Won’t you get involved with Hannah and me this school year and let’s work together to help hurting children deal with the pressures and losses they face on a daily basis.