Denial:
A defense mechanism which is demonstrated
by an inability or unwillingness to recognize one’s problems.

For the last two weeks in my post, I have been discussing denial, the second step in the grieving process.

The truth of the matter is that denial takes on an ironic twist. We run to avoid pain, but in the process, the pain only increases. We literally put ourselves in bondage and become slaves to our problems.

The Bible’s redemptive message from bondage is rooted in the covenant of Exodus. Speaking to Moses through the burning bush, the Lord said, “I have seen the affliction of my people, I have heard their cry, I know their sorrows, and am come down to deliver them out of the hands of the Egyptians and into a good land.” (Ex. 3:7-8)

And so it was, the end of 430 years of slavery came one night as the Israelites left Egypt with God leading them with a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. Of course, Pharaoh didn’t give up just because the Israelites had left Egypt; he came after them in hot pursuit.

The Israelites saw him coming and they also saw The Red Sea in front of them. Realizing that they were trapped between The Red Sea and Pharaoh’s army, they cried out to Moses, “Have you brought us here to die?” (Ex.13:21; 14:11)

Take special notice of what Moses said to the people: “Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.” As they stood still, Moses stretched his rod over the sea as the Lord instructed, and God miraculously parted the sea and they crossed over to the other side onto dry land. The rest is history as God caused the sea to return to normal, and it swallowed up the Egyptian army as it tried to cross the sea in pursuit of them.   (Ex. 14:13-30).

How can we apply this message to our bondage of losses and hurts?

God has seen your afflictions, too. He wants you to
stop running, stand still, and see his salvation. He will
swallow up all your enemies as you EMBRACE your loss,
and give you comfort.

I want to take special notice of that word “embrace” in the above sentences.

Webster defines embrace as accept readily.

Perhaps your first thought is: “How can I accept this loss and situation in my life readily? It should never have happened; it is wrong.”

May, I tell you that God is probably agreeing with you that it is wrong, but I believe He is also saying: “I just want you to go ahead and embrace the loss, accept that it has happened, not run from it, so I can comfort you as we walk through it together.

Just as Moses had to co-operate with God by stretching his rod over the sea for it to depart, we too, must do our part. So, how can we start embracing our losses readily?

1. One of the first things you might do to embrace your pain is to start a journal. Listing or writing out the losses you have experienced helps you to see them in black and white.
2. While journalizing is a good starting point, verbalizing your hurt seems to really open up the wounds. Why? Most of us have places in our heart where we have hidden deep dark secrets that prey on our emotions.

Tim Sledge, author of Making Peace With Your Past, says that if you keep secrets in your past that you have not told anybody, you are exerting energy day by day, week by week, to keep it a secret. Therefore each time you talk about the event in a safe environment, it loses some of its power over you.

Some of the most effective means of verbalizing are: 1) Join a Support Groups;  2) Talk with a member of the clergy;  3) Talk with A Trusted Friend;  4) Get Professional Counseling

CHALLENGE: Det. 1:7
Turn you, and take your journey
into all the places.

In the above passage of scripture, God was speaking to the Israelites in Horeb and was telling them that they had dwelt long enough in this mount. It was time to take their journey into all the land that He wanted them to possess.

My friends: Are you tired of running? Have you dwelt long enough on this mountain of hurts from your losses? Turn! Take your journey into the land of healing and wholeness, and cry out to God as Hannah has illustrated so beautifully: “Lord Help Me.”

Join Hannah and me right here next week and we will travel with you on your journey.

Meanwhile, perhaps you might consider making a list of those losses that you want to embrace- those losses that still sting you at the very mention of their name.

For a complete listing of losses you might have experienced, see my post Juggling Different Types of Losses.

See you next week. We feel blessed to be making this journey with you.