I am continuing my series this week on Issues Children Encounter at School. Last week, we talked about Changes and Transitions they might experience at school.

This week I sat down for an interview with Megan, my nine-year-old neighbor, to discuss school issues.

For several years now, while outside sipping my coffee in the early morning hours, I have watched Megan get on the school bus, headed off to school for another day.  We usually wave at each other from a distance, and off she goes.  So, I thought, “Aha, she is the one I need to talk with this week.”  So, we made arrangements to sit down and chat.

“Megan, tell me what is the biggest issue you face at school?”

Her immediate response was: “Not being accepted.”

“Tell me what you mean by that,” I asked.

“Sometimes, kids say to me, ‘you are weird.’ That hurts my feelings because they think I am weird. One kid on my bus even called me retarded.”

“How did you respond to those insults?”

“I just sit quietly.”

“Did you tell your bus driver or teacher about those unkind remarks?”

“Yes, I did, and they wrote out a report on the kids.  When rude remarks are said, either on the bus or a school, a report is written up on the kid.  He has to take it home and have it signed by his parents.  When he brings it back signed, his teacher turns it into the principal.  If a kid gets two reports, he is in big trouble.”

“What did you do that helped you get over such rude remarks as these?”

“I just forgave them and let it go,” she said.

“Where did you learn about forgiveness?”

“Grandma,” Megan said, and with that, we laughed and gave each other a bigggg high-five, so as to say:  “Hurray for Grandma!”

You see, Grandma is really Megan’s great-grandmother, who is obviously doing a beautiful job in raising Megan.  I left my chat with Megan, not only feeling up-lifted by Megan’s out-going personality, but by this grandma who is giving her all to raising a young child in her golden years.

Being Accepted:  What role does it play in a child’s emotional development?

I once read an analogy about acceptance by Dr. Gordon Thomas, a clinical psychologist,who specializes in communication skills, that sums up the importance of being accepted.  Take a look at Hannah’s illustration and Dr. Thomas’ analogy.

Fertile soil enables a seed to become a beautiful flower.
ACCEPTANCE is like the fertile soil.
It enables a child to develop into the lovely flower he is capable of becoming.

The question we must ask is:  “What can we do as parents and grandparents to help children feel accepted when they are faced with: the bully at school or school bus, the time they are chosen last for an activity or not chosen at all, the times that they are made fun of because of a disability, or the time that they fail a test?”

Allow me to offer a few tips for building Self-Esteem, or Self-Worth in children from my book, Helping Hurting Children.

1. Start Each Day With One Scripture Showing Him How Special He is to God
For Example:  God’s love for you is higher than the heavens (Psalm. 108:4)  God created you with a beautiful body (Psalm. 139:13-14)  God calls you His Friend  (John 15:15)  God chose you  (Ephesians 4:1)  God created you with special abilities  (Romans 12:6)

2. Point Out Strengths You See in Him
Often times, children do not recognize their own abilities.  Not only tell them things you have noticed they are good at doing, but write them out and pack one a day in his book bag for him to read during the day.

3. Teach Him That Losing Does Not Make Him a Failure
Children love winning.  However, losing is a normal part of life.  When he fails a test, seize the opportunity to help him develop better study habits.  When he loses a ballgame, use it as a time of learning about good sportsmanship, not drowning in defeat.

4. Encourage Him to Help Others
One of the best ways to promote this idea in children is to encourage him to be a friend to: the new kid at school, the child that is purposely left out of activities, the child with a disability, going with a child who is being bullied to tell an adult.  Not only does this make the “other child” feel accepted and valued, but it makes your child have a feeling of worth, knowing he has helped someone.

5. Instill in Him an Attitude of Thankfulness
Set aside a time each day for him to give thanks for the way he looks, the abilities he has, how much God loves and values him, and most of all teach him to be thankful for “just being me.”

6. Send Your Child Off to School Every Day With a Big Hug

7. And one last tip that Grandma taught Megan always works:  Forgive Those Who Hurt You
As I stood outside the next morning after my chat with Megan, drinking my first cup of coffee, I saw the school bus coming down the street. I ran back into the house to get my camera.

I took a picture of Megan as I saw her little hand waving to me from the bus.  I knew she was going to be one of those lovely flowers in the garden that would bloom and blossom into all God had created her to be.

Ya! Thanks to all the school bus drivers, school officials, parents, grandparents, and especially those great-grandparents who are getting involved helping Megan and many more kids live up to their full potential.

Megan’s Bio

Megan enjoys reading and animals. Her favorite color is orange, and her favorite subject in school is math. In the 4th grade, she is in accelerated classes in all her subjects. She loves to make new friends, plays on a soft ball team, and is active in church with her youth group.