Blessed are those who mourn (grieve) for they shall be comforted. (Matthew 5:4.)

That little word grieve has a simple definition, which is to feel or express sorrow. Think about it: without feeling and expressing sorrow, there can be no comfort. So, is it any wonder why Jesus made it a part of His famous Sermon on the Mount?

And that is what my website is all about: helping children and adults walk through the steps most commonly associated with grieving. Those steps are, which come in no particular order are: Numb, Denial, Bargaining, Emotions, Forgiveness, Acceptance.

For the past few weeks, we have tackled the step on Emotions, which is often called the bulk of the grieving process. Perhaps it is often labeled as such because there is so much misunderstanding about emotions, particularly when it comes to negative emotions.

I, for one, went for years holding onto hurts in my life because I was afraid of expressing what was really going on inside of me. After all, I was a Christian, and my thought was “good Christians shouldn’t be feeling what I was feeling.” And oh yes, I certainly didn’t want anyone to know for fear of what they would think of me. I even thought I could hide my feelings from God. Isn’t that a laugh!

These misunderstandings about negative emotions can even bring confusion within the church world. In a post a couple of weeks ago, my guest writer, Lynette Duquette, said it well, and I quote:

Why, when someone comes to us with their sorrow, their anger, their sadness, do we not validate them? “You shouldn’t feel like that” is one of the most hurtful things you can say to someone. They may have every right to feel that way! Are we trying to produce Christian drones who walk around with no feelings? Why? So others will think we have it all together? That is not living an honest life. It is not living in reality. Can our emotions be misdirected? Yes. However negative emotions are our internal warning system that something is wrong. If we want people to come to know Christ, they need to know they can be angry, depressed, hurt, scared, or with any other emotion they might be experiencing at the time. Can God heal them and help them work through it? Absolutely!

I conclude by saying:

• Feelings are an essential part of living. God gave them to us and they serve as a gauge to tell us when something is right or wrong. But, when feelings are not dealt with properly, they can cause us to react in sinful ways that create more painful consequences in our lives.
• So, it’s okay what you are feeling. What you do with those feelings is what involves wrong. Learning ways to manage the negative emotions less they go out of control and cause more hurt, is what we must learn to do.

Express Your Positive Feelings

I want to conclude the emotion step on grieving with expressing positive feelings. You know, often when we are going through a hard time, we see nothing but the dark tunnel we are in. That is the way it was as the children of Israel passed through the wilderness on their way to Canaan.

But, often times during their journey, they were instructed to build a memorial as a reminder to them of God’s faithfulness to them on their journey to Canaan.

Despite the hard times we sometimes have, we know that God is with us. Now is a good time to express those positive feelings for what God has done for you. Think of specific scriptures that have touched you or times that God has used certain people to comfort you during difficult times.

This will help you to balance the scales of your negative feelings with your positive feelings.