Are Today’s Kids Overscheduled?

Posted on by September 2, 2014avatar
Reply

overscheduledWith school starting all across the nation, my posts have been devoted to calling attention to kids who need “a helping hand” as they begin the new school year: The New Kid in School and Kids With Special Needs. Teaching your child to show a simple act of kindness and being friendly to kids who fall into these two categories can derail a lot of hurt and pain these children might otherwise experience.

This week, I want to call attention to another group of kids who need “a helping hand.” May I introduce you to the Overscheduled Kid. Take a look at a schedule we might find in many homes across America today.

 

  •  3:00 PM – School is out for the day
  • 3:30  PM – Dancing, guitar lessons, karate, gymnastics
  • 4:30  PM – Soccer practice
  • 5:30  PM – Dinner at McDonald’s
  • 6:30  PM – Church Activity
  • 8:00  PM – Homework
  • 10:00 PM – Bedtime

Though that is an imaginary scene, I have to believe it is a replica of many children’s schedule being played out in homes all across the nation as the school year begins.  Studies that I have read confirm that The Overscheduled Kid is fast becoming an epidemic that is spreading across our society. The whole family is caught up in a juggling act trying to keep up with all the activities their children are involved in.

I am no prude who thinks a child should not have activities outside the home.  I made sure my own children were engaged in extra-curricular activities when they were growing up.  But, I believe there must be a balance in doing so, less the child and parent suffer from burn-out.

A good check list for balance might look something like this:

  1. Are your kids still sleepy as they begin a new school day?
  2. Are they grouchy?
  3. Do they seem stressed?
  4. Are you having to carpool with a friend just to keep up?
  5. Does your child have unstructured play time, or is all their time orchestrated and scheduled?
  6. Does your child have a quiet time to explore ways of using their own creativity?
  7. Is there time in their day just to read a book?
  8. Is there time in their day for them to do chores around the house?
  9. Is there time in their day for family time?
  10. Is there time in their day for quiet time with God?

As I reflected on these points this week, my thoughts turned to the Bible story of Samuel in 1 Samuel 3. The story goes that one night Samuel heard a voice calling his name. According to the Jewish historian Josephus, Samuel was about 12 years old at the time. He initially assumed it was coming from Eli (the high priest with whom he was living) and went to Eli to ask what he wished to say. Eli, however, sent Samuel back to sleep.

After this happened three times, Eli realized that the voice Samuel was hearing was the Lord’s, and instructed Samuel to respond.  Once Samuel responded, the Lord spoke his message to Samuel.

Food for thought:  Do you suppose the reason Samuel was able to hear God’s voice at such a young tender age was because he was not inundated with so many distractions — aka, TV, video games, overloaded schedule, etc.

Parents, I have to believe as children spend quality time with family and God, along with a balanced activity schedule, they will begin to feel more relaxed, and above all, at a young tender age quite possibly get a glimpse of who God created them to be.  After all, didn’t God speak to Samuel at a young age?

In closing, I challenge you to take a close look at the picture of Hannah with all the “activity gear” loaded on her.  May I hasten to say, it in no way reflects the way her parents are rearing her; they try to keep a balanced life for her and her brother, Zach.

overscheduled

But, use her picture as a reminder to ask yourself:  “Is this my child?”  “Do I need to get back to the basics of what really matters – creativity, family time, and yes, quiet time with God.”  Might be time for a little soul searching.

Join Hannah and me right here next week, as we continue our journey to help hurting kids.

Kids With Special Needs

Posted on by September 1, 2014avatar
2

special needsWith school opening all across the nation, the hustle and bustle of another busy year begins for kids, parents and teachers. In the midst of this hurrying and scurrying, our priorities can become distorted and we lose sight of some very special kids who need our attention.

Last week on my post, Hannah drew our attention to The New Kid in School and what we should do to help them adjust to their new surroundings.

This week, I’d like to focus on another group of kids who need tender loving care all year long and that is Kids With Special Needs.

What is meant by Kids With Special Needs?

This means any kid who might need extra help because of a medical, emotional, or learning problem. These kids have special needs because they might need medicine, therapy, or extra help in school — stuff other kids don’t typically need or only need once in a while. (kidshealth.org.)

The list might include:

  1. Kids in a wheelchair or use braces when they walk.
  2. Kids who have an illness, such as epilepsy, diabetes, or cerebral palsy.
  3. Kids with sight problems.
  4. Kids with hearing or speech problems.
  5. Kids with learning problems often have special needs.
  6. Kids with Down Syndrome.

Obviously, a big portion of their needs have to be provided by parents, teachers and counselors, such as making sure they have the necessary equipment and medicine according to their specific need.

However, there is a need that can only be met for these children by their own peers.

No one tells the story of this specific need better than someone who has been there. I’d like to share the story of someone who is very dear to me – my cousin, Suzanne Grant. Her story begins in kindergarten.

One by one, each child strolled across the big stage in the auditorium to the thunderous applause of parents and grandparents, as well as hundreds of people in this small town of Donalsonville, Georgia. These little ones were making their first mark into the world as graduates of Seminole County Kindergarten. Suddenly the jubilant crowd slumped into an eerie silence.

Five year old Suzanne Grant had been lifted onto the stage by her mother who steadied her balance, and then turned her loose. Slowly, the little girl who had been born with Spina Bifida and had received physical therapy plus been fitted with braces for this special occasion, pushed one foot forward to take her first step. Slowly, a second step followed, then a third, then a fourth until Suzanne reached the podium where she was given her diploma.

She then continued her journey into the waiting arms of her mother on the opposite side of the stage. At that moment the audience, which had sat frozen to their seats in stone silence, rose to their feet with a roar that could be heard all over town. Twelve years later, this same community gave Suzanne another thunderous applause and standing ovation when she rolled her wheelchair across the stage to receive her high school diploma.

But wait! There’s more. Born with Spina Bifida, a birth defect that involves the incomplete development of the spinal cord, Suzanne not only graduated from high school, but with her up-beat attitude, she plunged ahead and received a college degree also.

suzanne

I spoke with Suzanne recently and asked her “what would you say was the most important thing to you as a young child in elementary school?”

Her immediate reply was

Having friends and being included in their activities. I loved being invited to birthday parties. The Girl Scouts group that I was a member of was especially good to me.


And so, my friends, in the hustle and bustle of preparing your child for the beginning of another school year, why not talk to him/her of ways to be a friend to Special Needs Kids — those kids whose health problems might prevent them from running and playing on the playground as your child can.

A few things you might offer as tips are:

  1. Carry their books down the hall if they need help.
  2. Ask them to join you and your friends for lunch in the cafeteria.
  3. Be sure to speak up for them if other kids tease or make fun of them. Also be sure to tell your teacher; no one deserves to be bullied and teased in a rude manner.
  4. Invite them to your birthday parties.

Can you just imagine the hurt and pain a young child suffers 
by not feeling a part of his own peer group?

Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family. (Proverbs 18:24)

The New Kid in School

Posted on by August 25, 2014avatar
2

1st day of schoolIt’s that time of the year again when school bells are ringing all across the nation.  Gone are the fun-filled days of summer; time for packing lunches, getting back to a new schedule, and yes, daily homework

Would you please allow a proud Nana to post a picture of two of her grandchildren’s first day of school?

1st day school

I was told by their mother that they were both very excited.  Being very out-going and independent kids, there were no fears of embracing the first day.  Zach, however, did have one big concern going into first grade:  “I hope my hair doesn’t get messed up on the way to school this morning.”  Oh, yes, I have seen the kid stand before the mirror and make sure every hair is in place.  My little man, as I call him, is a real charmer at 6 years of age.

For those of you who have been following my posts this past year, you know that Hannah is my illustrator.  She also likes to write, so this week I ask her to write and give me her thoughts about the beginning of another school year. The following is what she wrote, retyped it straight from her pen.

Going to school isn’t my favorite thing, but it is okay.

There are a lot of new kids at my school.  I like meeting new friends and all, but it’s hard to be friends with them if your other friends don’t like them or make fun of them.  You know, stuff  like that.  Sometimes, it’s easy to just turn away, but we should help them out anyway.

I hope you have a good school year!

Well, as you can see, Hannah’s thoughts were on the new kid at school this year.  

Hannah pointed out a very realistic situation for kids: “it’s hard to be friends with them if your other friends don’t like them or make fun of them.  Sometimes it is easy to just turn away.”

Thankfully, Hannah, did see the need to help the new kid in school but, like most kids, just doesn’t know how.

How well I remember the time our family relocated to another city because of a job transfer. My daughter, Heather, was going into the sixth grade.  We drove up to the school the first day, and she refused to get out of the car.  My offer to walk her into the building was met emphatically with:  “No!  The kids will think I am a baby having my mother walk into the building with me.”  Yet, she refused to get out of the car.  Finally, she consented for me to go into the building and find her classroom.  I came back to the car and gave her the directions to her room, and that gave her enough confidence to begin her first day. Thankfully, a beautiful little girl name Randi, befriended her on that first day, and thirty years later, they are still friends.

As parents, most of us try to prepare our children for new beginnings.  A new school, new teachers and new friends can be a scary thing for a child.  For some, it is made even harder because they might have had to make a move to a new place due to a parent’s death or divorce.  For the most part, I believe parents try to help their child make the necessary changes.

However, I dare say that the words and actions coming from one of their own peers speaks the loudest.

So, today, I offer a few suggestions to discuss with your children of how he/she might befriend the new kid at school.

  1. Look for new faces in your class. If you are not sitting near them, give them a warm smile.
  2. When you get a chance to talk, introduce yourself and say something like: “So, you’re new? Where are you from?”
  3. Introduce them to your friends.
  4. Ask them to sit with you at lunch.
  5. At lunch, ask them questions like: “What is your favorite hobby, movie, book, school subject, animal?” This allows the new kid to talk about themselves, which most of us like to do. It also gives you an opportunity to get to know them.
  6. Don’t make them answer too many questions, especially if they seem shy. Tell them about yourself also.
  7. Offer to show them around school.
  8. Help them find their locker; show them how to lock and unlock it.
  9. Talk to the child about the clubs and sports that are available at their new school. Ask what clubs they are interested in and what clubs they were in at their old school.
  10. If the new kid rides a bus home from school, try finding him a “bus buddy” he can sit with.
  11. Above all, make sure you speak up for the new kid if someone is saying rude remarks or making fun of them. Better still, talk to your teacher; bullying and unkind remarks should never be tolerated.

Thanks to Hannah for writing about such an important subject.  If you or your child has other suggestions as to how to befriend new kids at school, please leave them in the comment section.

In case you are wondering, on Zach’s first day as a first grader, he made it to his desk without a hair out of place.

Zach at Desk

Won’t you get involved with Hannah and me this school year and let’s work together to help hurting children deal with the pressures and losses they face on a daily basis.