Depression in Children

Posted on by August 17, 2014avatar
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depressedWith the suicide of Robin Williams on August 11, 2014, once again that dreadful word, Depression, came back into the lime light.  The world looked on with shock as one who had made millions laugh, had seemingly fallen into a deep dark pit and was unable to climb out.

Robin’s gift for helping others see the world through humor will be missed worldwide.  Sadly, when the shock of his death wears off, so will the subject of depression and its effects slowly fade into the background.  As a result, many will go untreated.

Unfortunately, children fall into the category of those who may fail to receive treatment.  Why?  Because the adult in the child’s life does not recognize the difference between sadness and depression.

Let me say, first of all that, “Experientially, I know nothing about depression in children or adults, for that matter.”  And for that, I am eternally grateful, because I know that it can be a serious problem.  Further down in this post, I will give you a check list for signs of depression in children from The National Health Association.

But first, I want to point out a couple of things to take into consideration before jumping to the conclusion that a child has depression.

1.  It is natural for children to have feelings of sadness at any time.

Let’s face it – none of us run on a “high” every day of our lives.  Just turning on the news, can make us sad at what is happening around the world.  Kids are no different.  In their own little world, they can have bouts of sadness from such things as:  having their feelings hurt at school, watching a sad movie, or losing a ballgame.

As the primary adult in their lives, we can help them overcome these bouts of sadness by teaching them to think positive, help them find a solution to their problem, and get them involved in an activity to take their mind off their sadness.  An activity that I would highly recommend is exercise, which I believe children don’t get enough of these days due to the current technology craze.

2.  It is natural for children to have feelings of sadness after a loss.

When a child faces a loss of any kind, be it the death of a loved one, divorce of parents, loss of pet, etc., it is only natural to go through a period of sadness.  In fact, the Bible encourages all of us to mourn when a loss has occurred in our lives.  Mourn means to feel and express sorrow. “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

To express our loss in terms of sadness is good; in fact by expressing sadness, it is getting our feelings out into the open so we can be comforted.

However, if sadness is prolonged, it could, indeed, mean a sign of depression, which should be treated by a professional.  The National Mental Health Association gives a checklist to assess depression signs.

Checklist For Signs of Depression

Feeling

Physical Problems

guilt

headaches

emptiness

stomachaches

hopelessness

lack of energy

worthlessness

has problems sleeping

does not enjoy everyday pleasures

changes in weight or appetite

Thinking Problems

Behavioral Problems

has hard time concentrating

not wanting to go to school

hard time keeping up his grades

desires to be alone most of the time

slow in completing school work

drops out of sports/hobbies, activities

has hard time making decisions

restless

Many parents dismiss these signs, thinking they’ll go away, or prefer to solve family problems privately. As previously stated, these signs should be treated by a professional, and that, my friend, is where guidance from God is much needed in choosing the right professional.

Let me quickly point out that I have the highest regards for counselors, social workers and those in the medical field.  However, I encourage you to seek out more than one professional; your child’s future is at stake!

And with that, I leave you with one of my favorite scriptures concerning guidance and wisdom:

But, if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  (James 1:5)

Thanks for reading, and join Hannah and me right here next week.

Sunday School and Christian School Curriculum

Posted on by August 3, 2014avatar
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cirriculum scalesMy guest writers the past three weeks have been “Our Kids” who have written about their losses, as well as written inspirational thoughts they have learned that has helped them in their young life.  I use the term “Our Kids” because, as a society, we each have a role to play in children’s lives who we interact with in our family, school, church, and playground.  They are, indeed, “Our Kids” and God has chosen us to be a vessel in their lives to mature them educationally, socially, and spiritually.

If you missed any posts from my guest writers, you can read them here:

 

I am letting the kids take a week off so that I can write about something that is troubling me in connection with the curriculum in our churches and Christian schools.  Bear me with why I explain.

Not long ago, I had a conversation with a principal of a Christian school.  Obviously, I was trying to interest her in my book, Helping Hurting Children, as a resource for the students at her school. But what she said to me sort of took me by surprise, and I quote:

“I have kids come into my office needing help from losses all the time, and I don’t know how to help them.  I resort to trying to find something from the internet that I can pass on to them.”

From another conversation with a children’s pastor:

“I have a lot of hurting children in my services and I don’t know what to do with them.”

My immediate thought was that perhaps the principal and children’s pastor are not aware of curriculum from publishing companies that could help them in their school and in their church services.  So, I did a little research on Google.

I googled the topic: Sunday School and Christian School Curriculum.  Can I tell you that I was astounded that well-known Christian publishers did not have one thing to offer in regards to teaching children how to cope with losses even though they are experiencing more losses today than any other time in our history.

Seeing this made me recall a quote I had used when I wrote my own children’s workbook from grief therapist Linda Goldman:

“Our children today are faced with death, divorce, abuse, multiple moves, family addictions, parental imprisonment, terrorism, school violence, natural disasters.

The adult world often judges and labels children negatively for their behaviors.  Many of our children are often labeled ADD or ADHD, “slow learners” or trouble-makers – and when they spiral down far enough, they are then criminalized, hospitalized, or buried.

This is happening because the adult world does not recognize the signs of grief in a child.  If we did, then we could help them before their plea turn into screams and before the screams are forever silenced.”

The most important point that needs to be stressed here is this:

If a professional grief counselor recognizes that children are often mis-labeled as ADD, ADHD, slow learners, or troublemakers when in fact, they are crying out for help, what is that saying about the emotional development curriculum that is being omitted in their life?

Teachers and ministers shouldn’t have to resort to the internet for material to insert here and there to help children recover from the emotional scars of losses.

  • Sunday School leaders need something that is as much a part of their curriculum as the stories of David and Goliath, and Jonah and the Whale.
  • Christian School teachers need something that is as much a part of their curriculum as reading, math, and science.

That something they need is a curriculum that not only helps in building a foundation in children for their emotional development but helps them cope with losses they face on a daily basis.

 In short, the Curriculum Scales Must Be Balanced.

For our children’s sake, I encourage you to please speak with your church leaders, Sunday School teachers, and/or your Christian School officials about including such a program in their curriculum.

I  leave you with two scriptures to think about as I believe relates to my points.

1.  “Blessed is he who mourns for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).

I am sure you recognize this as one of the beatitudes from The Sermon on the Mount. Jesus, Himself, taught the importance of grieving, which means to feel and express sorrow.

My friends, this is what we should be providing for our kids — a resource to learn how to recognize feelings, and how to express them. Only then can we answer their cry for help.

sermon on mount

2.  Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them. For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. Then He took the children in His arms, placed His hands on them and blessed them (Mark 10:14; 16 NLT).

If Jesus had time for the children as He went about teaching to the multitudes, shouldn’t we take the time for their emotional development and helping them cope with their losses in a time when history is recording the highest losses ever?

jesus and children

As we apply these scriptures, the Curriculum Scales Will Be Balanced.

The Loss of my Pet Dog, Rudy: Hannah Breaux

Posted on by July 29, 2014avatar
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Hannah Soccer 2014 250While school is out for the summer, I thought it would be interesting to hear from “Our Kids” themselves. After all, kids are what this site is all about.

We talk so much about what we should do to help them; but, if we never stop to listen to them, then we have missed the boat. So, I have been featuring kids and their thoughts. In case you have missed my first two writers, you may find their posts here: Oriana and Keeleigh Amodeo.

Today, my guest writer is my ten-year-old granddaughter, Hannah Breaux, from Lumberton, Texas. Hannah has traveled with me on my blogging journey this past year to help hurting children. She faithfully draws my illustrations each week. Today, she tells her story of the loss of her pet dog, Rudy.

And now, in her own words, is Hannah.

Before Rudy died, I would always go to him if I was sad or frustrated. I’d sit and pet him while he ate his food or drank his water.

Now, I just go in my room and stay mad or cry. It was just some way that he made me happy. It might be because I am a dog person, I don’t know.

Rudy was kind of old when I was born, but whenever I could I would play with him. We just had so much fun. Also my other dog, Abby, would play with him when we were gone. Now, I think she is lonely.

I hate it that Rudy died. He was always there for me.

When I went to check on him that day, my Mom broke it to me that he died. My friend, Brooke, spent the night with me, and she comforted me. It is so hard to lose something you love.

hannha-rudy-2

rudy headstone

 

Great job, Hannah! Be sure to share with your friends what you learned from your experience of losing Rudy. Not only will your story help comfort them in their loss, but helping others is one of the things that brings us the most joy in life.

Now, let’s see what we adults learned through your writing and illustration:

  1. She told what her life was like BEFORE and AFTER the loss of Rudy.
  2. She was able to describe her feelings before his death and after his death.
  3. She used her gift of drawing to illustrate her feelings.
  4. She also told who comforted her during this time – her friend, Brooke.

My friends, our kids can tell us a lot about their losses and their feelings in general. All we have to do is find the way that best suits them to express themselves and then, above all, LISTEN and LISTEN some more.

I might mention that, along with the children’s workbook, I also published, an Adult Reference guide that will help you meet some of the challenges you might face as you travel with a child during a time of his loss.

Be sure to join me right here next week for another time to meet “Our Kids” while they are on summer break.

Hannah’s Complete Bio:

hannah-bioHannah is 10 years old and in the 5th grade.  She stays very active as a softball and soccer player and loves participating in any outside activities.  She is an avid reader and loves spending time drawing and writing.  She enjoys hanging out with friends and staying involved in her church youth group.